Chapter 2 – Page 015
I mean, there had to be some reason why Nintendo stuck with cartridges while everyone else moved to CDs. I realise the actual reason was “spite,” but that’s a silly reason and Nintendo is a silly company run by silly people. That’s why we love it so much.
Anyway, this is your timely reminder that Nancy Brilligan is a crazy conspiracy theorist and that you should take her rantings with a massive pinch of salt.
↓ Transcript
Panel 1:
A super-bored Si is hammering the jump button on her controller. Nancy is still listening to the string.
SI: This puzzle is stupid.
SI: This game is stupid.
SI: Everything about everything right now is stupid.
SFX: boing boing boing boing boing
Panel 2:
Si leans back. Nancy reacts to her question with flailing arms.
SI: Oi, you know any cheat codes?
NANCY: Cheat codes?!
Panel 3:
Si stares blankly, not quite believing what she’s hearing.
NANCY: That’s the kind of thinking They want you to have! If something’s hard, all you need to do is tweak reality a bit and all your troubles disappear! It’s an evil, corrosive belief and you need to unlearn it if you want to stay sane in this world! Effect must follow Cause!
Panel 4:
Same view. Si squints.
SI: ...whuh?
Panel 5:
Nancy calms herself and looks over her shoulder.
NANCY: Of course you wouldn’t know.
NANCY: The Forces of Randomness have been seeding messages into quantum-based media for years.
NANCY: Especially optical media - CDs, DVDs, Blu-Rays, even that weird mini-DVD format the Dreamcast had.
Panel 6:
Nancy turns back, while Si looks at the games consoles in a new light.
NANCY: Why do you think Sega failed after they moved from cartridges? They weren’t part of the plan, you see!
SI: So that’s why all yer consoles are so old?
NANCY: Yes, to maintain relativity, we must play consoles no younger than the Nintendo 64.
A super-bored Si is hammering the jump button on her controller. Nancy is still listening to the string.
SI: This puzzle is stupid.
SI: This game is stupid.
SI: Everything about everything right now is stupid.
SFX: boing boing boing boing boing
Panel 2:
Si leans back. Nancy reacts to her question with flailing arms.
SI: Oi, you know any cheat codes?
NANCY: Cheat codes?!
Panel 3:
Si stares blankly, not quite believing what she’s hearing.
NANCY: That’s the kind of thinking They want you to have! If something’s hard, all you need to do is tweak reality a bit and all your troubles disappear! It’s an evil, corrosive belief and you need to unlearn it if you want to stay sane in this world! Effect must follow Cause!
Panel 4:
Same view. Si squints.
SI: ...whuh?
Panel 5:
Nancy calms herself and looks over her shoulder.
NANCY: Of course you wouldn’t know.
NANCY: The Forces of Randomness have been seeding messages into quantum-based media for years.
NANCY: Especially optical media - CDs, DVDs, Blu-Rays, even that weird mini-DVD format the Dreamcast had.
Panel 6:
Nancy turns back, while Si looks at the games consoles in a new light.
NANCY: Why do you think Sega failed after they moved from cartridges? They weren’t part of the plan, you see!
SI: So that’s why all yer consoles are so old?
NANCY: Yes, to maintain relativity, we must play consoles no younger than the Nintendo 64.