With the powers vested in me by the JK Rowling institute of post-facto wokeness, I hereby decree that Unnamed DJ With Green Hairdo is a non-binary asexual. At no point will you see this acknowledged in the text, but it’s way better headcanon than wizards magicking away their poo or whatever other fever-dream is afflicting Mrs Whoops-I-Accidentally-Liked-A-TERF this week.