Chapter 7 – Page 017
Sorry, the comic’s just going to be this from now on.
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↓ Transcript
We now begin a nine-part series: The Wording Household At Dinner. The scene: the dinner table. The Wording house in Ealing is a little “cozier” than the small palace Nancy had in Ruislip but it’s comfy enough. Barring the awkward relationship between father, mother and daughter.
Panel 1 (narrow):
Nancy is testing the meal Audrey has made while Sam reads the Telegraph.
AUDREY: I, uh, thought we’d try beef stroganoff tonight, you said it was one of your favourites?
NANCY: Oh yeah! Mum had this special onion-less recipe, she knew how much it gave me gas.
Panel 2 (narrow):
Audrey goes white with terror. Nancy tries to smooth things over while Sam is oblivious.
AUDREY: No onions! S-sorry, I didn’t even think-!
NANCY: It’s okay, it’s okay! I’m not a kid anymore, I don’t need bits picked out of my meals!
SAM: See, Audrey? She says it’s fine, you’re worrying over nothing.
Panel 3 (narrow):
Audrey scowls at Sam while Nancy does her best to pretend the meal is edible.
AUDREY: …do you have to read at the dinner table?
SAM: It’s the only time I get to read anything.
SAM: Day’s filled putting away the yobbos and druggies the PC brigade let off with an ASBO last week.
Panel 4 (narrow):
Sam pokes the table to make A Point. Nancy tries to sink into the plate to ignore him.
SAM: I tell you it’s this filth they’re filling kids’ heads these days with their Napsters and Nintendos. Utter nihilism!
SAM: Back in my day the hippies told everyone to get high and have sex, but at least they wanted to make the world better. Now all they want to do is burn stuff!
Panel 5 (narrow):
Audrey has a positive, compromise solution that both generations immediately roll their eyes at.
AUDREY: Welllll…how about we go see something nice instead? Get a ticket to the Proms?
NANCY: Is Trent Reznor on the programme? Cuz if the answer to that question is “no”, what’s in it for me?
SAM: When I hear the word “culture”, Audrey, I reach for my revolver.
Panel 6 (narrow):
Audrey fumes, as Sam shows off something in the paper that interests him and no one else.
SAM: Ha, look! Uday and Qusay got pumped full of holes by the 101st Airborne. Bet that must disappoint your hug-a-terrorist protest pals, mustn’t it?
NANCY: Oh I’m sure your buddies in the Mason lodge must be licking their lips, two less obstacles in the way of carving up the spoils.
Panel 7 (narrow):
Sam becomes serious and stern while Nancy reacts very badly. Audrey can feel the situation falling away from her.
SAM: …I’ve been meaning to tell you, I really don’t like all these wild ideas you’re picking up from the world wide web.
SAM: I’ve cancelled the internet subscription.
NANCY: You did what?!
Panel 8 (narrow):
Nancy picks up her dinner and moves to storm off. Sam loses his cool at her.
NANCY: You can be such an arsehole!
AUDREY: Nancy!
SAM: Young lady, you go to your room and don’t come out till you’ve learnt some manners!
NANCY: Not like I can do anything else in there!
Panel 9 (narrow):
Nancy leaves, the door slams, Audrey glowers, and Sam goes back to reading his paper like nothing happened.
SAM: …I’ve nothing to apologise for.
NANCY (box): ‘Howdja think it worked?’
Panel 1 (narrow):
Nancy is testing the meal Audrey has made while Sam reads the Telegraph.
AUDREY: I, uh, thought we’d try beef stroganoff tonight, you said it was one of your favourites?
NANCY: Oh yeah! Mum had this special onion-less recipe, she knew how much it gave me gas.
Panel 2 (narrow):
Audrey goes white with terror. Nancy tries to smooth things over while Sam is oblivious.
AUDREY: No onions! S-sorry, I didn’t even think-!
NANCY: It’s okay, it’s okay! I’m not a kid anymore, I don’t need bits picked out of my meals!
SAM: See, Audrey? She says it’s fine, you’re worrying over nothing.
Panel 3 (narrow):
Audrey scowls at Sam while Nancy does her best to pretend the meal is edible.
AUDREY: …do you have to read at the dinner table?
SAM: It’s the only time I get to read anything.
SAM: Day’s filled putting away the yobbos and druggies the PC brigade let off with an ASBO last week.
Panel 4 (narrow):
Sam pokes the table to make A Point. Nancy tries to sink into the plate to ignore him.
SAM: I tell you it’s this filth they’re filling kids’ heads these days with their Napsters and Nintendos. Utter nihilism!
SAM: Back in my day the hippies told everyone to get high and have sex, but at least they wanted to make the world better. Now all they want to do is burn stuff!
Panel 5 (narrow):
Audrey has a positive, compromise solution that both generations immediately roll their eyes at.
AUDREY: Welllll…how about we go see something nice instead? Get a ticket to the Proms?
NANCY: Is Trent Reznor on the programme? Cuz if the answer to that question is “no”, what’s in it for me?
SAM: When I hear the word “culture”, Audrey, I reach for my revolver.
Panel 6 (narrow):
Audrey fumes, as Sam shows off something in the paper that interests him and no one else.
SAM: Ha, look! Uday and Qusay got pumped full of holes by the 101st Airborne. Bet that must disappoint your hug-a-terrorist protest pals, mustn’t it?
NANCY: Oh I’m sure your buddies in the Mason lodge must be licking their lips, two less obstacles in the way of carving up the spoils.
Panel 7 (narrow):
Sam becomes serious and stern while Nancy reacts very badly. Audrey can feel the situation falling away from her.
SAM: …I’ve been meaning to tell you, I really don’t like all these wild ideas you’re picking up from the world wide web.
SAM: I’ve cancelled the internet subscription.
NANCY: You did what?!
Panel 8 (narrow):
Nancy picks up her dinner and moves to storm off. Sam loses his cool at her.
NANCY: You can be such an arsehole!
AUDREY: Nancy!
SAM: Young lady, you go to your room and don’t come out till you’ve learnt some manners!
NANCY: Not like I can do anything else in there!
Panel 9 (narrow):
Nancy leaves, the door slams, Audrey glowers, and Sam goes back to reading his paper like nothing happened.
SAM: …I’ve nothing to apologise for.
NANCY (box): ‘Howdja think it worked?’