Florence! Birthplace of all the Ninja Turtles! If I wanted to uncover the secrets of the Ordo Nostra, I knew I’d have to look here.

I couldn’t go straight to Valerian Strauss and his secret agents with this, they’d just take the Ordo Nostra out behind the scenes and no one would ever hear about them. I wanted to expose them and their garroting-innocent-sightseer ways, and to do that I needed to find their headquarters, right here where they started.

But first, I needed to eat!

You know the great thing about Italy? It’s the one place on Earth you can pig out on pizza and ice cream and genuinely claim that you’re sampling the local cuisine.

The SD card was the key. “princescradle1442.” “prince” had to refer to Machiavelli’s “The Prince,” and “cradle” had to refer to the Renaissance belief that a man’s grave was but a cradle for a higher understanding of the cosmos. Machiavelli had been buried in the Basilica di Santa Croce, which had been consecrated in 1442 AD!

Now if I remember my Assassin’s Creed (and why would an Ubisoft computer game ever lie to me), there must be some kind of ornament that will reveal a secret alcove…

A-ha! Now I can get inside, if only this punky girl wasn’t holding a cloth to my face and oooooh I’m feeling light-headed and everything’s spinningfjgnriuebskfe-

THUMP